Do things whilst you're scared
When it feels scary to jump, that is exactly when you jump
I often lie awake most nights thinking about the decisions I have made in the past. How if I didn’t do x maybe I would end up at a completely different place — living an alternate version of myself, wondering if that version is happier. But that’s the thing with regret. It has you in a chokehold and reaches you when it is sometimes too late. Now and then I think about how many of my decisions were made out of fear and not courage, and how if I had more of the latter, the gap between who I was and who I could have become would be a lot smaller.
I’m inherently a risk-averse person and conditioned to be my entire life. Call it the product of priming by Asian immigrant parents who risked everything to start a new life in a foreign territory.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to realise that courage isn’t something you are born with, but something you gain. And just like confidence, it is not a prerequisite but a reward. At every crossroad and every big decision, there’s always the option to leap or to take the “safer” route. For a while, I was always paralysed by the consequences of taking risks. It’s easy to think the worst, “what if it all comes crashing down and It all goes wrong?.” But when you fill your thoughts like that, many of your decisions become decided for you and before you know it you’re living a life that’s not yours.
If you are finding yourself in a place where you feel endlessly stuck and there’s a pull towards a life that you can’t stop thinking about. Perhaps, it’s time to start evaluating and giving yourself permission to take the steps towards the things that awaken you with joy.
The law of inertia also called Newton's first law, postulates if a body is at rest or moving at a constant speed in a straight line, it will remain at rest or keep moving in a straight line at a constant speed unless it is acted upon by a force.
Sometimes the smallest steps can feel like unmovable mountains and it’s scary to inflict that type of seismic shift when all you’ve known is the safety of sticking to what you already know. But what happens when we take more chances, and more risks and start making bets on things that will move us to what we truly desire? Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said, “to become spring, means accepting the risk of winter.” Sometimes the greatest thing we can do for ourselves is to be a little more courageous and make choices which will move us onto the path of fulfilment despite initial resistance.
We’re all on a timeline where it could change at any given moment. At every intersection of a decision lies an infinite number of endings.
You could theoretically change your life at any moment. Move here, date that person, work on that startup, write that blog, dye your hair, adopt a dog. Of course it’s never easy — but it’s possible to uproot yourself, become a new person. Should I stay, should I go? I don’t know if this agency is freedom or burden. Perhaps all the best things are both.
StartingfromNix
The single best bet you can make in life is on yourself. I’ve learnt that most risks are usually rewarded and when you start seeing your life change in all the ways you didn't realise were possible, you start to believe and have more conviction that everything will actually be ok. Life truly begins when you discover you have agency over your fate by taking chances, despite what people may tell you.
So rather than making fear your enemy, start leaning into fear and make it a cautious friend. We all deserve to go after our dreams — in all the small and big ways.
It won’t feel easy but it will always feel right. There's a parallel life harbouring in all of us and it’s up to us to make more courageous decisions to make that life ours. To no longer dream about it, but to truly show up each day and have the belief we can change it.
I’m rooting for you, I really am.
- Zoe
Thank you! I needed this 🫶