Head vs Heart
Do I follow a rationale or a feeling?
A fun question I like to ask strangers as a psychological litmus test is if they’re head-centric (logical by nature, pragmatic, follows a rationale) or heart-centric (leads with their feelings, intuitive and acts on emotion)
We’re taught from movies and in books that we should always follow our heart. To go with our gut no matter what. To follow our feelings no matter what. To throw all logic to the wayside and pursue whatever sets our soul on fire.
But reality catches up with us. We soon realise things aren’t like the movies and we can’t always rely on our feelings to make decisions. Because acting purely on emotion is perceived as rash, irresponsible and leaves little room for prudence.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been a deep feeler. I let my emotions get the better of me and there are some things that reach me to my core, making it hard to think straight. A certain song on spotify, city lights from the view of an aeroplane window, a message in a birthday card — leading with your heart seems noble until your thoughts and fears begin to spiral and soon enough your mind will tell you “I told you so.”
When you’re young, you make decisions with whatever feels right, based on your emotions. But as you move through life, you take less risks. You rationalise more. You make decisions based more on reason, disregarding your emotions, because you know it’s for the best.
Nowadays I’m more head-heavy. I’ve become more cerebral. I intellectualise my emotions, and in some ways, my brain will put up walls to protect my heart. I like to believe I can control the narrative, convincing myself to get my shit together whenever I get too overwhelmed.
But when you think too hard and you rationalise everything, you become apathetic.
You soon learn that you cannot rely on only your head or heart for every decision. Life isn’t as black and white and can’t always be solved by East-West thinking. Instead of thinking of head and the heart as seperate entities; pyschology leans heavily into the heart-body connection. The intelligence of our bodies extends beyond reason and can actually tell us what feels right through contracted and expansive cues. That twisted feeling in your gut when you feel something is off? Listen to it.
Recently I’ve been devaluing the importance of my heart when it came to decision making. Don’t stray from the common path. Don’t get too attached to a guy. Apply for this job, it’ll be good for you. However I know now it’s not about choosing one or the other but about using both in tandem. Knowing when to think. When to feel. Some of my most beautiful moments in life have come from following my heart and I don’t regret it at all. But I do regret when I allowed my emotions to cloud my judgement. Sometimes our hearts tells us to keep going when our mind tells us to stop, and that it’s not working anymore.
I think ultimately it boils down to being honest with yourself about who you are and where you want to go. There are no right or wrong answers, just decisions and outcomes. For me, I’m trying to allow myself to feel first before anything else. Life is unpredictable, chaotic but beautiful all at the same time. So step back. See the bigger picture, and listen closely to what your head, heart, and mind are all telling you.
I like these shorter form pieces, they feel like an art form. Like they could be hung in a gallery somewhere.